{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org\/","@type":"BlogPosting","@id":"https:\/\/recruiterready.com\/credulousness-literal-about-metaphors\/#BlogPosting","mainEntityOfPage":"https:\/\/recruiterready.com\/credulousness-literal-about-metaphors\/","headline":"Credulousness – Being Literal About Metaphors","name":"Credulousness – Being Literal About Metaphors","description":"This post originally appeared on the blog of Leadership Coach Timothy Thomas PCC When sharing experiences with one another it is easy to believe we are communicating in literal terms. Closer examination reveals that most communication is abstracted into metaphor. Our life is shared with others through both subtle and colorful abstractions. I\u2019ve been exploring, […]","datePublished":"2016-10-25","dateModified":"2023-01-19","author":{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/recruiterready.com\/author\/timothy-thomas\/#Person","name":"TimothyThomas","url":"https:\/\/recruiterready.com\/author\/timothy-thomas\/","identifier":1,"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61b946fe5aba06f5baa67d9522820bc555eb3087bb84b0d7a68c98e974ec047d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/61b946fe5aba06f5baa67d9522820bc555eb3087bb84b0d7a68c98e974ec047d?s=96&d=mm&r=g","height":96,"width":96}},"publisher":{"@type":"Organization","name":"Timothy Thomas - Coaching Technology Group","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/recruiterready.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/CTG-logo-horizontal-schema-friendly.png","url":"https:\/\/recruiterready.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/CTG-logo-horizontal-schema-friendly.png","width":600,"height":60}},"image":{"@type":"ImageObject","@id":"https:\/\/recruiterready.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/credulousness-hold-your-horses.png","url":"https:\/\/recruiterready.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/credulousness-hold-your-horses.png","height":"429","width":"650"},"url":"https:\/\/recruiterready.com\/credulousness-literal-about-metaphors\/","about":["Coaching","Neuro Linguistic Programming"],"wordCount":1531,"articleBody":"This post originally appeared on the blog of Leadership Coach Timothy Thomas PCCWhen sharing experiences with one another it is easy to believe we are communicating in literal terms. Closer examination reveals that most communication is abstracted into metaphor. Our life is shared with others through both subtle and colorful abstractions.I\u2019ve been exploring, studying, and training in transformational modalities for nearly\u00a0two decades. Figures such as Virginia Satir, Dr. Milton Erickson, John Grinder, Richard Bandler, Steve and Connirae Andreas, Robert Dilts, Tad James and many others seemed to share a foundational concept in their practices – accepting their clients\u2019 view of the world very literally.To make changes, first we have to realize that we are talking in stories, not in facts. To get to a place where changes can take place, we must listen to words at face value. This approach is echoed in Zen stories putting an emphasis on \u201cwhat is,\u201d coaching and therapeutic models such as Clean Language, and on the stage in Improvisational Theater as well.Real, Imaginary, Beliefs, and “Truth”One key difference between what is \u201creal\u201d and what is \u201cimaginary\u201d is our level of belief. When performing with improvisers the very first rule is to \u201caccept offers.\u201d An offer is when a fellow performer makes a statement or does a pantomime that implies an activity, another performer responds by accepting that \u201coffer,\u201d creating a meaning for that offer, and expanding on it to co-create a story.This expansion is powered by a rule of saying \u201cyes, and\u201d to provide the thrust that keeps a scene engaging for an audience. All offers are metaphorical in that they are not what is actually happening in real life (where we are literally in the act of performing), we are embodying characters involved in concepts and ideas upon which the performers keep adding layers of meaning. We treat the imaginary as real because we are on stage and have agreed to pretend together. However, there is almost no difference\u00a0between stories created in the context of Improv and incidents that happen in our day-to-day lives that we believe to be truth.The true power in coaching is being able to recognize when metaphor reveals the contour of belief\u00a0and then co-exploring the deeper meaning of what is being said (or often, what is not said).When working with clients I listen carefully to what they share. There is information, of course, but also concepts, ideas, and gateways to underlying beliefs about themselves, the people they interact with, and the world at large. The true power in coaching is being able to recognize when metaphor reveals the contour of belief and then co-exploring the deeper meaning of what is being said (or often, what is not said). Most of us are unaware that we are generating the meaning of our own lives through metaphorical language, and if we change our underlying metaphors, we consequently change the meaning of our lives.Which leads me to\u00a0being literal about metaphorsCredulousness is my word for a specific coaching mindset that takes a client\u2019s metaphor entirely as shared and treating it with unshakable positive regard. From this point we can now connect at a deep level of communication and shared understanding. The more we explore the shared metaphor the more we increase the richness and depth of our communication, setting the stage for making a desired life change.Imagine a client has an overdue report and her co-workers are waiting on its delivery because there is something in it that will drive decisions going forward. It can be tempting to coach her on \u201ctime management skills,\u201d \u201cworkplace responsibilities\u201d or listen as she beats herself up with self-judgment like feeling guilty. However, the actual level where attitudes are transformed occurs when we discuss metaphors with Credulousness.When Late Work Turns Spoooooky!It’s nearly Halloween, which means we have the supernatural on our minds. In a coaching conversation, our client shares something like, \u201cI feel haunted by deadlines. They intimidate me.\u201d Notice that metaphor? Does it feel familiar to you in some way?With an attitude of Credulousness\u00a0we move beneath the surface level of the statement (which seems to be about deadlines) and instead explore the metaphor of \u201chaunted.\u201dSince when are missed deadlines the same as ghosts? Time to get credulous and literal about metaphors!The interaction might go something like this:Client: \u201cI feel haunted by deadlines, they intimidate me.\u201dCoach: \u201cHaunted like what?\u201dClient: \u201cLike a ghost. You know, like a ghost hovering over my head.\u201dIt is important to resist the urge to mix in our own metaphors while exploring the client\u2019s. I could point out that it is common to say \u201cthis deadline is looming,\u201d but that is adding my own ideas to hers. It is her story to tell. It is much like Improv, only taking place inside the client between her conscious and her sub-conscious concepts.Now back to being Credulous:Coach: \u201cAnd whereabouts over your head?\u201dClient: (pointing up and over their right shoulder) \u201cRight over here.\u201dCredulousness means you believe her statement: there is a ghost hovering over her right shoulder. Your role is not to debunk, discount, or reframe that concept. She shared\u00a0this metaphor while co-creating in our coaching conversation. In respecting the metaphor as \u201creal,\u201d we increase the depth of the conversation and widen the connection for the client between the literal and the symbolic actions taking place in her life.Depending on your experience and training there are many possible ways to interact with stories and metaphors. In my training with Dr. Richard Bandler in Neuro-Linguistics we discuss working at the level of client metaphor with an eye on \u201cplaying with it\u201d and discovering how making changes in details can alter meaning.In this story, the client has made \u201can offer\u201d that the deadline is the same as a ghost that hovers over her\u00a0right shoulder. We are going to ask lots of questions to help make that metaphor as rich as possible.What about the deadline?It is tempting to ask, \u201cWhy aren\u2019t you addressing the missed deadlines? What do ghosts have to do with anything? They aren\u2019t even real.\u201d However, consider how often advice on how to \u201cdo a better job\u201d or \u201ccaring more about deadlines\u201d are empty instructions that are really about treating the surface issue. We can be assured that our client had conversations with her bosses about performance already. To deal with deadlines, we are going to have to discuss ghosts.Let\u2019s get credulous and explore a world where missed deadlines and ghost hauntings are the same!Let\u2019s roll back a bit and rejoin our client conversation:Coach: \u201cAnd whereabouts over your head?\u201dClient: (pointing up and over their right shoulder) \u201cRight over here.\u201dCoach: (gesturing to that location) Right there. Got it. Anything else about those ghosts?\u201dClient: Yes, it is like they are pressing down on my shoulders.Coach: Can we play around a little bit? (The client gives me her permission) May I move this around (gesturing to the vicinity of the location of the ghosts)?There are many questions we could ask about “feeling haunted by ghosts over the client\u2019s right shoulder that feel like they are pressing down on her shoulders.” In this example, I chose to discover with the client what happens when we move the ghosts around. How did I know I could do that? I asked the client. If she says \u201cNo\u201d then we just move to another set of questions related to the metaphor she shared.Coach: (Reaches back, mimes getting a really good grip on the ghosts and pulls that imaginary sphere so it is right in the main visual field of the client.)Client: (Eyes get wide) Whoa! I understand it now! The deadline is still in front of me until I am done \u2013 I need to finish this now! (Shakes shoulders) I feel so much lighter!Coach: How about the deadlines? Still haunted?Client: No! I have just been being silly. I was afraid for no reason and wasn\u2019t doing my work. Now that it is right in front of me, I can see it for what it is.Our minds are very imaginative and create stories and meanings around our events. There are times when it makes sense to have direct conversations about work performance and times where a different approach is needed to get the most from employees. In my view, having a staff member lose their job because \u201cthey don\u2019t listen\u201d is a shame, and can be avoided by actually listening credulously.Now you try!It\u2019s time to turn on your metaphor-o-meter! In the next five conversations you have with others really listen for their use of metaphor, especially metaphors of location \u2013 that is where the other person uses a preposition like \u201cunder the gun,\u201d \u201cover the moon,\u201d \u201cin the soup.\u201dJust notice.Then start noticing yourself.We all use metaphors – our brains are wired that way. Learning how you describe your own experiences in new metaphors is a path to doing new things in your own life."}